My Transformational Year - Part 5

The second thing that shifted me out of being stuck was months of reiki practice, studying and chanting with the 5 Buddha families, studying Kabbalah. It was going deep into my shadows and shining a light on them. It was screaming in the woods with 84 other women. It was creating a scared space to meditate and listen to my inner guidance. It was letting go of the stories I created about the future, releasing the belief that I have full control over each part of my life, and being present as often as possible 

Most of what transformed me in the last year had little to do with my Art, my practice, or my business. 
It was internal. 
I needed to change. 
I was listening to a podcast recently and the guest was saying that we all spend so much time looking for our purpose. But we limit our search to what we should be DOING. 
In truth our purpose is two fold. It is what we DO and it is who we ARE. 
My purpose is to do the thing I am meant to do but also to become the woman I am meant to become. 
Becoming is more challenging than doing. 
It means letting go, reinventing, expanding, leaving behind, setting boundaries, asking for what I want, not settling for bullshit, pushing myself to dream bigger, reminding myself of my fierceness, believing that I deserve more, and putting in the work to be present in the process. 

This is not glamorous. It doesn't mean you will become overnight success or see a sudden surge in Art sales. 
But it creates a sense of being unfuckable with. 
It strengthened my vision, my focus, and my persistence. 
I do not have certainty in my success but I am certain that this practice is mine.

This Art is mine to create and to share. I give it space in my life because it is valuable to me. I show it to the world because it is my gift to share. 

Some years I will paint more and some years less. But I know that it will never leave me and I will never abandon it again.